Sunday, December 26, 2010

What's my number?

I crawled out of my bed
At 0800 time
Now that was a good number
I knew that it was mine!

Not so.

Went shopping at a deli
In line I was ignored
But others had a number
I fumed and then I swore

I finally got a number
It was 42.
The clerk whispered with a smirk
That number's really you.

Not so.

Drove down to the Post Office
To mail a couple bills.
This was fast becoming
A contest of the wills.

They finally called my number
It was 103.
I thought how nice it sounded
My number that must be!

Not so.

Went shopping at the mall
My shirt was rather old.
So, I bought a new one
The clerk was very bold.

She asked me for my number
On my card of credit
That could be my number
But I'd soon forget it.


I took my old cell phone
To a kiosk in the square.
A kid slid up to wait on me
Tattooed with orange hair.

What was my cell phone number?
I didn't have a clue.
But did it really matter?
A cell phone isn't you!


I left the mall behind
And took off down the road
I got stopped for speeding
The cop looked like a toad.

Let me see your license
She barked, with eyes of sand.
Then she wrote my number
On the ticket in her hand.


I stopped to see my doctor
My head was hurting bad.
They said just write your number
On the insurance pad.

Please, I said, at my wit's end
I forgot my card.
Sorry, sir, then we can't help
We know that this is hard.


Being in great distress
I went to buy a car.
They had the nerve to ask
For my date-of-birthday card!

I'm ashamed to say
I screamed, then screamed some more!
What, I said, in heaven's name
Do you need that number for?


I went home and on the door
I saw 3179
I became excited,
That number must be mine!

But by half past four I had forgotten
And when I went to look for it
A thief had nabbed the sign!


Still feeling bad and very old
I climbed into my bed.
I was very, very cold
And still hurt in the head.

Then I heard a frosty voice
Call aloud my name
I want to know your number, son,
We're going to play a game.


I exploded furiously, said
I don't know, you mongrel pup!
Tell me what my number is! ...
Too late, he said, your number's up!

And everything went blank!

Copyright © 2010 by Jacob Anson.  All rights reserved.


merrytait said...

LOL! A true indictment of society today for sure!!

lizziviggi said...

Very funny! I feel like "just a number" too much of the time!

joo said...

It's hard to remember all the numberes, isn't it?
As always I admire your words Jacob!

Juergen Kuehn said...

A brilliant idea and so I borrow your thaughts to renumber my key moments of last year...

JunieRose2005 said...

Sad but so true-Numbers really get me in a tizzy!!

The only number I can remember is my phone number!! :)


Cezar and Léia said...

Not to mention that without a social security number, you virtually don't exist... :)
Terrific, amusing! I love your "explosions" of creativity! :)
God bless you!

Small City Scenes said...

I stay away from numbers--my math's not so good . I do like numbers but I am not ready for my number to be up. MB