My Friend's Cat

My friend has a cat
Who's a bundle of nerves.
I'm sure the cat is
Not mentally sound.
It sits on the porch and
From that peerless perch
It orders my
Friend around.

It's a female type cat
Quite furry and small
You wouldn't think
She'd be bossy at all.
Maybe she suffers from
Low self-esteem
'Cause sometimes she gets
A little bit mean.

One day my friend
Came home from the mall
She found there a mess
Strewn in the hall.
The darn cat got mad
That she'd left home at all
She tore the wallpaper
Right off of the wall.

I said to my friend
If that was my cat
All of its nine lives
Would have long since been past.
It would be painless and
It would be quick
But I surely would end
Her lunatic tricks.

Wow, was my friend
Unhappy with me
She could not believe
I could be so damn cruel.
Her poor little cat
Was really quite sweet
And I was, quite frankly, a
Fusty old fool!

A week or two later
While out buying a hat
I ran into my friend, asked
How was her cat.
She said that her tabby
Was so sweet and good
The poor little thing was
Just misunderstood.

How could that be
I inquired of her
That cat was an ADD
Bundle of sin.
She said she had taken
Her cat to a shrink
And the shrink put her baby
On pure Ritalin!

(Luna requested this poem for Cezar and Leia. She thought it would help them realize all cats are not like Luna and thus they would appreciate her more. I think Luna was feeling that her allotment of treats had been unjustly reduced, although being the kind of cat she is, she would never come right out and say so.)

Copyright © 2006 & 2009 by Jacob Anson. All rights reserved.)